angle 360 degree

Once upon a time in Delhi metro!

2011-12-31T10:51:00.000-08:00

After a long and tiring day, I was on my way back home. The metro was crowded yet the three little kids could manage ample space to play, have fun and show love and affection to each other even in the suffocating claustrophobic metro train.

The eldest was a boy around 10 years old. He had those induced leadership qualities to get conformation from his mother.

The second child was a girl, 8 year old, she was an inborn child, and she was creative on her own playing with anything at all that could probably be used for playing.

The third one was a girl around 5 years old. She was the apple of everyone’s eyes. Both the elder brother and sister were very caring and loving towards her.

The trio were happy in their own world. Their mother was standing during the journey, somehow standing in pain to provide comfort to her children. Somehow she could manage to arrange only one seat for three of them to sit. But, the eldest one was the most caring and loving towards his younger siblings, he made them sit on his lap. One leg with 20kg and one leg with 35kg girl. The boy was probably 40kg!

All of the sudden the youngest one got up from his lap and started playing and dancing with the pole in the metro compartment. The boy himself missing all the fun under the shadow of being the eldest one, said very sweetly, “sit, don’t play, you will get vertigos like this.. Sit you might fall.. Be careful..”, he was very protective, but the little girl could not miss the fun, she ignored whatever he was saying and smiled and continued playing and running around the pole.

The little girl pulled the elder girl to join her in the game, but the elder girl could not stay away from the love and words of the elder brother…! So she went back and sat on his lap.

The little girl continued her play, clanged to her mother, hugged her, hugged her brother and sister, and kept dancing here and there in the train.

The most beautiful scene was then, when she very beautifully hugged her brother and sister at the same time and kissed them one by one. The elder gave her the same. Three of them held each other like that for several seconds. I was mesmerized by the incredibly beautiful and adorable scene until the lady sitting next to me, 50 year old elegant lady said to me, “bhai behen mein kitna pyaar hota hai chote hote hu” (siblings love each other so badly in younger age). I was still looking at the children and without paying attention to lady, unconsciously I repeated what she said, “chote hote hue” (in younger age!). the lady said, ”bade ho ke pata nahi kya ho jata hai sabko” (don’t know what happens to them when they grow up). I looked at with black face when I was shocked to what I just heard from her. kept looking at the floor and thinking what she said till announcement in metro said,” Next station is G.T.B nagar”, and I DE-boarded the train.

"KapOOr" with a "Double-O" ..!!!

2010-04-11T06:57:00.000-07:00

Socializing among people in college, I met a guy who is friend of my friend, he is among those people who try to sound funny and intellectual at the same time(mind it.. "try to"). He asked me regarding my family history and was trying to show that he is a mobile encyclopedia having all knowledge in this world regarding the relation between "last name" of a person and "history of family".

He asked me out of a very brief discussion about me, "okay so Miss. Paritoshika Kapoor, which "Kapoor" are you?"

(there are only one kind of Kapoor I know, but it is written in two ways, Kapoor and Kapur), I looked at him with an expressionless face and said, "The 'Kapoor' with a double-'O' !!!". He was quite for sometime processing what I said and this silence broke into laughter when people around us who were earlier listening to our conversation with great interest started laughing.. I too laughed with them wondering what was so funny about it, like an embarrassed cat joining other cats in a bumper meal.

I came back home, still thinking "what was so funny about it?" For a moment a "?-mark" stuck in my mind, "I hope I did not say anything offending!"

I rushed to the laptop next to me and searched "double O" I could not make out anything .. so finally I decided and convinced myself, "okay let me search for its image, may be I can understand at least a bit of the joke.!! and if anything "A" certified flashed.. I promise I will close my eyes ;)

I was stunned to see what I located after a day long "?-mark" in my mind...

Reference: here

You too have a look at it :)

Double-O-Arch in Arches National Park in Southwestern USA :)
So that's how it becomes "Kapoor" with "Double-O" :D

Rahul, the special Guy!

2009-08-14T22:59:00.000-07:00

He entered with his father, he was wearing spectacles on his round cute face with an unusual cute smile.white shirt neatly tugged in his black trousers.

He sat beside doctors chair and before anything about his health he said "I was selected in I.T.I" then he pointed at his father and said.. "He did not provide me admission there."

The doctor asked him, "why so?"

His father said nothing and Rahul (the guy) kept quite waiting for his father to speak, when his father said nothing Rahul started again, in a very polite and intellectual tone "see I scored 72 in maths and 65 in physics, now I want to do aeronautics.

The doctor questioned "what will you do after doing aeronautical??"

Rahul answered that he will blast!

The doctor was amused and interrogated, "where will you blast?, in Pakistan?"

Rahul said, "No, in China!"

Doctor said, "How will you do that?"

Rahul in a very innoscent voice, trying to be very logical said," why should I tell you?, do you tell me for what you are giving me all those medicines?

The doctor replied, "I am not hiding it, its written on the consulting slip."

The doctor checked his medicines and made the minute changes required and asked Rahul to consult me.

Rahul on a stool placed beside my chair.

I asked him, "What happened to you?"

He said nothing and grabbed all the medical reports kept in a folder from his father and held the folder to me saying , "have a look."

I said, "I dont want to see this. I want to hear from you".

He took out one of the consulting slip, there was something like a graph drawn as he said.. it was a chart regarding his behaviour

......................... feb 05
........ ................|'''''''''|.................... .......|'''''''''|...........................
.......|.......| ..........................|.......|
........aug'o4

He pointed at aug'04 and said....."august 2004 that day I had an exam, it did not go well! Then I was fine in between and then on feb 05 I was very good in studies.

I kept listening to him then I took that card from him and he said,"the rest of the details you will write."

I said nothing and kept that card in his folder.

I asked his father, "about his case history, and Rahul contradicted before his father could say anything!

"Don't ask him, I am telling you" was Rahul's prompt interruption.

I said ,"I will ask you rahul, let me ask your father first."

He nodded and stayed quit for a while.

His father said, "his mood swings, he has temper tantrums, and sometimes he is very aggressive.. though it has been controlled by medication so its in residual form now"

All the symptoms of bi-polar mania, I said to myself.

The conversation with his father was still on while rahul interrupted, "take my I.Q test."
I looked at him he seemed to be mild retarded . I felt sad for him, and looked firmly and deeply in his eyes, saying "you don't need I.Q test, you are really intelligent."

Rahul had counter questions to everything, he said, "then how will i decide which field I should opt? I am planing to go for electronic."

I was fled by his cognitive process, its desire to live life like a normal 19 year old do.

While on the contrary his failure to do so, because he was not like us, he was special he was not special by birth or by right! He was special out of his genes and environment.... all factors contributed to make him special.

I kept looking at him, he was noticing everything in the cabin, I felt his eyes set on my abnormal psychology book kept on the table, he said, "tell me what should I go for? Should I do Psychology? Its because my mother is having psychological problem, when I was in 4th standard my mother felt ill psychologically, I will study psychology and cure her..

Before he fall into emotions and conflicts with himself about what he should do. I asked him "do you eat toffee?" he said "no".

I showed him my clenched fist and opened it in front of him, his eyes sparkled, he looked at me smiling. I asked him, "take it".

He took the toffee and said thanks. I said okay now go back home and take medicine on time. He nodded and said bye.

I was bit exhausted. I picked my cell phone and went out of the room. I was roaming in the corridor and talking to my sis on phone. Somebody showed a pendrive hanging from a thread in front of my eyes, I looked up a to the person.. It was rahul, I asked him,"What is this Rahul?"

He said, "you take it and listen to it!"

I said Rahul I am having one like this at my home, I will listen to it. okay..

He nodded and waved good bye to me and left.

I continued my conversation on phone.

Author's Note: Environmental and genetic factor's contribute to ones behavioral tendencies and personality traits. We all are normal and we have a few special people around. We should equally respect them and acknowledge the existence of their special feelings! If not genetically we can atleast contribute to environmental well being of people around.

Thats how "You" and "I" are never the same.

2009-06-02T06:33:00.000-07:00

You may know me, you may not know me.

It depends on the face you see.

You may think I am rude and proudy,

That could be because you were gaudy.

You may think I am sweet and cute,

It depends on the word execute.

You may think I am bad,

This could be because I was mad.

You may think I am happy and lucky,

This could be because when you met me, I was having my favourite truffle in cuppy.

You may think I raise my brows often,

Well that could be just reflex action.

You may think I roll my eyes on whatever you say,

But I may defend my self by saying, “I don’t care”.

You may think I have attitude,

That is because I don’t owe your gratitude.

You may think I show you weird expressions,

But that’s what you can get from your useless questions.

You may think I don’t understand,

That’s because I don’t want to take it, where you stand.

You may think whatever you want,

I can only say,

It does not bother me…

I am who I am and someone who you can never be.

STRANGERS

2009-05-28T01:05:00.001-07:00

They say they are not good
They say they are not bad
I say they are you

I say they are new

We say why wont one should talk to...

You were also i stranger when i first met you.

Strange is the feeling which we all have,

When we met anyone for the first time.

The first impression decides whether we will go on or move on...
Because no one knows anyone since they are born.

But still..

They say they are not good

They say they are bad

I say they are you

I say they are new

But now somehow. i dont care

If you are a stranger, if you are new to me...

Lets wait and watch whats in our destiny.

Say it proudly- I have a desire

2009-05-28T00:52:00.001-07:00

A frustrated mind,
sometimes the most destructive sometimes the most creative
Creativity is the need on an hour
The need to change and a need to be called.
Sometimes it’s a fire sometimes itself a desire.

Destructiveness sometimes is the most important tool for the most creative thing
Sometimes it takes more than required
and sometimes it goes out of attire.
Sometimes you answer unasked questions
and sometimes you look for most understood questions.
The good and the bad are something apart.
this is what takes unbelievable path.

It can make true the dream, what you desire.
You have to reach the aim until your motivation expires.

Sometimes before you even think that you are frustrated.
Give it a chance to create what you could have created.

All you need to do is be frustrated... have a desire, have that fire, have a perfect attire... that helps you fulfill what the universe conspire.

NOW THAT YOU ARE GONE......

2009-05-26T09:25:00.000-07:00

Days were numb and nights were blue.

Don't know about you but my love was true.

What happened to you.

I have no clue.

We were the perfect doe.

Those were the feeling I had just for you.

You were changed in a flash of second, it created all hue.

You and me in our world made of bond like jew.

All this was so good, so out of usual, out of view.

Its you and only you, who mean a lot to me

I really do yeah, I really do..

I really loved you.

Sometimes I have a question for myself..

Is this really true.

You left me.. was it really love or fallacy for you.

Because I had just a few speicial feelings just for you.

I am sure but you are not with me now..

Who should I tell I really loved you.

In the darkness of night I pray if I could,

Bring back the time when we were good.

I loved you more than anyone on earth ever could.

P.S- written on behalf of a good friend..!!!

E-X-A-M

2009-05-03T03:14:00.001-07:00

The season is on, when your thinking goes on and on.

Social psychology, stats and research the measurement is without any unit.

Psycho we with the physics related

The unknown answers, which were created.

Peak time, our tail is on fire...

We start working, the way we always desire.

Sleeping less in night,

Staying up whole night,

Writing in exam without “sight”.

Feeling no less then a blinking “tube light”.

When things go somewhat all right

Credit is all ours until the result comes: our hard work and staying up whole night.

Talking turns into so-called “studies”.

Thinking ourselves as James bond

This lasts until the moment result comes.

The outcome of our deeds.

The fuzz is in the air.

Who has got how many marks???

Tension on face and frowns on forehead there come Miss. Shit.

I wish if “actually” I could give her a kick.

How much you got? How much she got?

And all that laughter on each others face.

Next year is my time; I am going to rock..!!!

This again, ends up as the session starts.

Forget all grudges, rock the party.

Enjoy our time the fullest until the moment called “clueless

” comes.

Short-lived things being love more

2009-05-03T03:11:00.000-07:00

Short-lived things being love more.

While blowing bubbles through, ring dipped in soap solution.

I wanted to touch the bubbles, hold them, kiss them...

That spherical beautiful thing,

Colours that make you sing.

Looking like a rainbow moving, the VIBGYOR colours so fascinating

I wanted to touch it and feel how they are.

Those round transparent balls.

Early morning they were reducing my stress,

Keeping me away from thinking about taking rest.

Short-lived things being love more.

Because they do not annoy anyone from any core.

The flowers that seems so pretty,

Faints and dies when we become picky.

When we don’t touch them they are our eye candy, our admiration.

They even smile at us and give us happiness but when we pick them up they become dead.

For all the pretty things should be in heart,

Because crave can take them apart.

Better is to wait and watch,

Admire the beauty and not put it to a halt.

For short-lived things seems prettier.

We are the one who struggle them to death,

At the end, we say the pretty things have left us alone.

When the fault is our own.

When I see a bubble up in the air,

I sit and admire it until it clears.

The flower in the vas at my home smiles at me all day long.

I treat them fair and respect there life,

That’s why it does not hurt when they say “good bye”…!!!

ONE STRANGE DAY

2009-01-28T12:04:00.000-08:00

Few days back I had to get some notes Xeroxed, I was there near my home at the photo state shop. that’s the shop I usually get all my notes and stuff Xerox I was looking inside the shop to see whether there is someone to attend me or not, as I could not see anyone.. I had a huge amount of papers in my hand along with a big bag and almost my hands were full that I could not hold anything else. Apparently an old lady came there and asked me’ “puttar tenu photostat karwana hai?” (She said in punjabi language, “do you want to get something photostatted?”). I said yeah. She said come with me my brother’s shop is nearby firstly I hesitated as how can go to some place with a stranger then I thought “no worries if this lady (who is so old that she cant walk properly) will be suspicious I will just go, she can’t run to catch me.. Then I said okay fine. . I was walking with that lady and as we walked a few steps together she said, “puttar bhale tu meri bah hi phad le” (hold my hand) I was shocked as I had so many doubts about that lady who could hardly walk. I said “no its fine” she said “ nahi mere kolo chala nahi ja reha, chot lagi hoi hai mere peir ech” (I am not able to walk my leg is hurt), again it was bringing more and more suspicion to my brain… then she held my hand without even asking me, and she held it so tightly that I could not even get it off , then we were walking and in the meantime she was telling me that its his brother’s shop and I should tell my friends about this shop and you can say I should advertise the shop for her, then finally I reached near the shop it was in a narrow lane (scary one) with hardly two or three shops inside it, I saw it and while entering I was thinking of the ways to escape. Then I thought let it be I just have to get the Xerox then I will come out who cares give some bucks to this lady then giving them to my usual shopkeeper then we went inside the lane in the beginning there were two shops I thought that was her shop, or may be the next one I asked her, “where is your shop? She said its just few steps ahead I said okay, then we arrived at the shop, it was a small but not so confused kind. There were a few workers there chatting, and an old fat man with mustache , wearing white kurta pyjama. He was very huge, his tummy was bulging. His face was same as a regular size pizza his eyes were so big and then when we reached , he touched his sister’s feet (the old lady) then she introduced me, “this is my brother” I said “okay”. She kept on saying some or the other thing like this is our shop, we own three of these, this one is where we work, this one is a godaow(storage house) that one is his sitting room, when he is tired he goes and sit there and when he comes out he lock that room because godaow(storage house) is attached to it. He keeps all this goods there. He gets his work from different different colleges then she asked him “tell her from where you get the work” he said “Rajisthan”. She continued saying her things….. I was wondering what is in either me or in this lady that she is telling me all this. . she kept saying one or the other thing., I actually don’t wanted to listen but had to listen as my stuff was getting photostatted then she told about how his brother' s daughter she got divorced and how her in laws used to beat her that she came back 15 days after she got married,…then she told me she stayed in London for some-days and used to tell fortune or future whatever by reading palms . I don’t understand the reason yet again, but I was sometimes listening sometimes looking at my watch, sometime scolding myself for listening to that lady when she said “do you want something to get photostatted? Well whatever it was though I had those two hundred and ninety pages which were being Xeroxed I had to bear this, around one hour passed I was still there waiting for my work to get complete and me to escape. After sometime the work was complete that lady gave me her visiting cards and asked me to get people there at her brother’s shop.. I took two of them and told her yeah I will surely tell people about your shop. They give me discount too, then I left with all those paper’s now double in amount. Came back home and told my family about this over dinner of course they said “don’t you talk to strangers”. Then I was thinking about it and yet I could not find why she told me that all that? May be some people have habit if telling others about there life. Or may be sometimes people tell more to strangers than a close person thinking we will never see them again and in a way will get off with our frustrations. May be.. whatever.. it was a nice incidence I wish not to have one again and I never hear anyone asking “do you want to get something photostatted?” those one and a half hour grilled me big time. But good experience.

!!!......ITS WRITTEN SOMEWHERE...!!!

2009-01-26T08:30:00.000-08:00

Out of my daily schedule, one morning my mother asked me to take a leave as we all had to go to meet my grandfather, a funny outgoing old man; who finds humour in almost everything who is a 5 year old kid with a child and a sensible gentleman for a youth and a "SEEN IT ALL”," AN ALL AWARE " old man for people of his age.

A man who, at one point of time can fit in almost all age groups; an infant, a school going child, an adolescent, a young man, a leader of family, and at the end AN OLD MAN in his own age, 81 year old YOUTH I should rather say.

But this time it is not a usual Papa-Ji – Jaya (my name by which my family members call me) meeting. It was rather a call from a grandfather to his grand daughter to visit him the last time he is in his senses.

It was 15 October 2008, as I can recall. I went to see him, saw him bed ridden using stick or walker while he had to move I was of shock than to sympathise. I could not believe my senses at that part of time were true or not. The man who used to dance on the song (eh meri zohra zabi) with his wife on the anniversary was now there in front of me so inexpressible.

I was talking to him sitting with my family or rather I should say I was saying yes - yes to everything he was saying.

Later in the evening we were leaving for our home and he said, "diwali mein mela lagega, milne aate rehna (there will be a fare in Diwali, do come to meet me). I said, "yeah sure I will come, I know that mela is good" and I told mom," this year we will surely go there".
14 days after this it was Diwali... People giving gifts to everyone they know, almost everyone celebrating, dancing, firing crackers, distributing sweets to each other.

All homes decorated with colourful lights and traditional divas and candles, but there was one home in our locality which was not decorated. That family was not celebrating. One home where there was just one candle burning on the main gate. As if the candle depicts the life. As if it depicts the time left in someone's life.

The home was our, it was my home in solidarity and darkness, I never thought that this was the MELA he was talking about, now he was in I.C.U.
29 October 2008

It has been almost a week he is here suffering, I went to see him in I.C.U. a day before, he was numb, he was paralyzed, he could not move. He had so many life saving instruments connected to him.

All I could see was those two big eyes, which as I remember I have never seen without spectacle. But this time they were without spectacles. Those eyes....
I don’t know what they wanted to tell me...
Those eyes...

I went close to him, and suddenly he started shaking his head, nodding as if he wants to say something, but unfortunately now he could not even speak.
He was restlessly moving, shaking his head then all of a sudden tear started shedding from his eyes. He didn’t say anything. But those gestures said a lot unspoken. .
I went close to his ears (now he can’t even hear) and said:

"Papa ji, hum sab apke sath hai, sab yahi par hai, bahar apki wait kar rahe hai, ap jaldi se theek ho kar aa jao, hum sab apke sath hai" (We all are with you, waiting for u just outside your room, you get well soon, and we all are waiting for you).

As I said this holding his hands carefully so that those needles do not hurt him. Tears from his eyes were still rolling down. He stopped shaking his head and blinked his eyes at least ten times as if he is saying that he has heard what I just told him.

This was just a one minute meeting, so many things understood, which were never said. I came out of the I.C.U. Inside I.C.U. the meeting time is only fifteen minutes every 24 hours. My grand mother was waiting to meet him. I came out and she went inside.

I was standing there outside the I.C.U. waiting for my grandmother, I saw a child there standing next to me he was around 7-8 year old, and he was there with his maternal uncle to see his mother. As he was going inside the guard stopped him, as it’s in the rules. Later his uncle insisted and he went inside with his uncle.

I was still waiting for my grand mother, wondering how she would be feeling at this moment, her life partner; her soul mate is going to. Though it’s a harsh word but it’s the reality... He is going to die any moment!

He was on the bed of death to sleep forever. I remember her saying.. "I was fourteen year old when me and your grandfather got married" I was thinking that its almost 60 years they were together, every morning they wake up to each other's sweet face. But now that day is near when she will be all alone.

The child came out; he seemed to be very happy as if he has achieved all the happiness of his life. A smile one will never see. It was different from all smiles that a child will wear... even if given all comforts.

The child came out and starting telling with exaggerated happy expressions, "unhone mujhe kiss kiya, unhone kaha VANSH, unhone mera naam liya aur mujhe kiss kiya mama" (she kissed me she kissed me, she took my name, she said vansh and she kissed me, you know that uncle).

He sat on the stool nearby, wearing his shoes and clapped his hands and said, "AJ TO MAZA AA GAYA MIL KAR" (today it was great meeting her). I could not control my emotions, I was expressionless but full of emotions, I wanted to smile at the innocence of the child and at the same time wanted to cry out loudly on his innocence. The child is so innocent that he does not know what he may loose he does not know what’s happening around. His mother is in I.C.U. struggling for life goddamn and he is so innocent that he doesn’t know what he may loose any moment.

A "MOTHER" according to me its a mother who nourishes her child, she is a true teacher, a true friend, a care taker., a true someone you ever get in life, she tell you what is right and wrong for you, she means a world to you" I think its a mother who makes you what you are and no one on earth can take her position. What will happen to the child if his mother leaves him the next moment??? May be that’s why she kissed him out of her illness. May god give her the will power to live when she saw her son?

It was Diwali 29 October 2008, and the doctor said that anything could happen any moment. We all were praying, that was the only thing we could do now. I was going my work side by side, though irregularly. There was some fest in my college and I was given a chance to coordinate with a band. We were doing our rehearsals whenever we get time.

That day we had to show our performance to the teacher concerned for the further permission.
It was 1st November 2008 around 5pm; I was singing the song, lost in my world, with my eyes closed. All I was doing was feeling and singing the song. I was through with it. I opened my eyes and all cheering, a round of applause. And the teacher saying..."very nice, this MUST BE performed. I was on cloud nine at that part of time wondering I will go back and tell everyone about it.

I packed my stuff, took my bag and came out of the practicing room, I was with a friend, and we were chatting, laughing... Came to the main gate; she took her way I took mine.

I called my sister to tell her about this selection. She disconnected and called me back, as she never receives my call and prefer calling back.. I picked up and before I could say "hello". she said, "JAYA, PAPA JI KI DEATH HO GAYI HAI, 7'O'CLOCK NIGAM BODH GHAT PAHOCHNA HAI, COME AS EARLY AS POSSIBLE TO THE HOSPITAL OR DIRECTLY COME TO NIGAM BODH GHAT" (Jaya, Papaji expired, at 7'o'clock we have to reach Nigam Bodh Ghat come as early as you can or directly come there) again I was numb, I wanted to dry out loudly but I could not. There was the fest going on in the campus, it was all crowded but I was so alone. Somehow I reached there controlling my emotions. The hospital authority gave us the dead body at 6:45pm and as it came out of the I.C.U. and as I saw him like a statue wrapped in white cloth, I could not hold my tears anymore.

On 10th November 2008, we, my father, my paternal uncle, my cousin brother, my grandmother and my sister went to HARIDWAR to perform the rituals. To leave remain of burnt body to the river GANGA. Before leaving the ASTHIYA in the river all were supposed to touch them and put some money in the bag carrying the ASTHIYA.

I touched the ASTHIYA with my hands, I could feel his bones, and this one seems to be his hand bone that one seems to be his shoulder bone and the ashes and the flowers along with the bones. My uncle immersed the bones in the sacred river Ganges, and the current of water took it away in a flash of second.

I was wondering what that was. The person who, few days ago was alive, standing in front of us now he is just a bag full of bones and ashes...

What is life?? I cannot make out. The reality is here in front of me.. END IS CERTAIN... Nothing can survive endlessly.

We think, we will never die, or may be we think, "we will die someday" when we will get old.. Someday... Someday.. Someday.. Not soon.. But someday...

The rich and the poor!!

The hospitals where they are born are the same.
The cremation grounds where they end up are the same.
The religion, the culture, the colour, the race, the sex has nothing to do with LIFE.

Look at the man who just
"THREW THE ASHES OF HIS FATHER INTO THE RIVER"
The father,... the same person who taught him how to walk...

LIFE IS REALLY A MYSTRY...THE MORE YOU TRY TO UNDERSTAND IT, THE MORE YOU GET CONFUSED, AND THE MORE CHANCES THAT PEOPLE WILL CALL YOU A "PSYCHOLOGICALLY IMBALANCED PERSON".

It’s written somewhere...
It’s written somewhere,
You don't know where,
But it’s written somewhere.

The reality of life is here,
It’s written somewhere for sure,
Beginning is always all cheers,
And then it comes to second gear.
And then stops somewhere near,
It’s written somewhere,
But you don't know where.

You come to the world; see your mamma dear,
Adolescence and all that friends and beer,
Later you have priority, a family that’s your.
Loosing is the biggest fear
Old age is phase that will soon disappear..
All those memories spent with you,
When we recall shed tears..
Because it’s written somewhere
But you don’t know where.

You want to rub what’s written,
But you don't know where..
Your presence was so cheerful,
That it’s lost we can’t bear.
Wish you stayed with us a bit longer
So that you could hear, the words never spoken,
Which were unclear!!
But its written somewhere..

May you never forget us
And please forgive me for the pranks I played with you,
That "centre shock" chewing gum that left you with a
Heart attack near,
You know grand pa its written some where,
God knows where..

You will meet him. Deliver my message..
Please take all this cruelty from world and
Spread happiness everywhere,
And above all keep you as his angel..
I will never shed a tear
I feel blessed when I feel your presence near.
Never shared this grandfather-grand daughter relation
Since my last 19 years.
But it’s written somewhere,
We all don't know where...!!!

FEAR OF LOOSING

2009-01-17T14:00:00.000-08:00

One day when I was in karol bagh market, specifically at gafar market as they had to buy some gadget. I was there with them till 4 o clock then I had to leave for my class.
I left at around 4:30, didn’t realize how the time passed hanging out with them.
In my class I was doing my job and suddenly one of my friend’s cell rang, she went out to attend the call, as she stays near gaffar market, she came inside and told about a blast that took place a minute before in gaffar market.

I was freeze head from toe!

Asked her to recheck if it’s the same market I left my sisters at? She said, “yes its in karol bagh”. I had goose bumps after listening to her.. I prayed that was not true. I went out of the class to call my sisters, I called up Shine didi her cell was switched off I was numb that moment wondering what went wrong. I had less information and her phone was switched off. A tear rolled down my eyes and before I enter catharsis, I called up Karni, her phone was reachable, she picked it up and in her sweet voice she said “hello”.

I thanked god for keeping my sweethearts safe. And asked her where is she, she told me they have left for home. I informed them about the bomb blast that took place a few minutes before, and thanks to god that they left ten minutes before the mishap. I pray to god no one ever face these crisis. No soul should suffer for anything like this.
From that day on... I could not sleep properly for several days. Whenever I went to bed I heard some strange shouting and crying, I closed my eyes to see some one dying. I was so unwell that I asked a friend what to do, the friend replied... Close your eyes and relax…
My mind said;
If I close my eyes, then what?
Look so many people are being killed.
Somebody is playing with others life,
To establish themselves
Smell of blood every where,
Crying souls screaming “what’s our fault?”
Mothers waiting for their child, wives for there husbands, brothers for sister and the opposite.
Damn what they get out of this mess?
Publicity?
I could have died; I could have lost somebody precious.
I could have been the suffering soul..
Who would care?
Everyone try and close there eyes.
Then I would cry even more.
I was innocent they killed me.
Other does not do anything because I am not theirs.

MY LIFE... MY FAMILY..

2009-01-17T13:58:00.001-08:00

These will be the days, when I will share my life, sitting near fire with my grandchildren telling stories about the time I am witnessing today!

“When I was stuck late nights sipping black coffees and eating maggi..
Perhaps these are the best days...
I am in college, living like a perfect high school student, all those things take takes to make a person said to be having "a life".
Fighting, bitching, gossiping and having fun, playing pranks and making the best out of each moment.
Late night studies along with chats, making notes and fighting like cats..
Me and Karni sharing the same room; sometimes sweet, sometimes rude.
Complaining about each other to mummy but not getting anything out of all that..
As mum knew we will be fine after five minutes,
And it happens sometimes when mummy gets angry at us for fighting..
While Mummy is still angry, me and karni together again smiling.
As right now I just had a cup of my bitter coffee and having magi…
Its two ‘o’clock in the morning, all are asleep but I am writing,
Writing about those days which I am living in present with a pinch of past.
These memories will always last.

And when Karni is at hostel, I am in shine di’s room wondering if she ever stays up late night. As since I am here, she sleeps maximum at 2pm no matter how much I insist her to stay awake. Ever since she has started working, she has become an early riser and early to bed kind of person...
If I insist her more than required I will hear a lecture, so to be on safer side I better stay quite and keep this thought aside.
Early morning she gets up for her office, me still asleep until the sun goes up the horizon and its noon. I open my eyes, look at the mobile, look at the time..And jump out of my bed... Asking mummy I am getting late. Please help me getting ready or else I am going inside my covers again.
She helps me getting ready like a school going child... ”mummy, where is this? Where is that?”, “I don want to have breakfast” and my mummy silently doing everything from glass of milk to a gift of my favorite cookies in my bag. She stuffs food inside my mouth and I am running saying “I am not hungry mummy please understand”.. And she forcibly makes me finish my meal at last.
Then she helps me getting my favorite pair of socks, she know what I am looking for in a particular dress I have worn for the day. She knows my style pretty well and suggests me what suits me the best of all the dresses I try before selecting the one which I will actually wear for the day out.
And then she see me off from the main gate, waving at me staying there till I disappear. I love her for her warmth gestures and what she has given me in the form of love. My father and the icecreams we have in the weekend, NO matter what it is summers or winter he is always my partner in fun. I remember how we used to run after cats as i like pets and the day he gifted me m puppy.. But unfortunatly my mumma does not like animals inside home.. so we had to leave it back to the club..And when I come back with my didi we get time to talk about what all happened all day long. How I played prank on one or the other person, how I caught a lie and she tells me about what happened in her office how she makes the fatty colleague of hers shut-up. And all the things that make her my sis, she is my best friend I ever had in my life; no one on earth can take her space in my heart.
Both my sisters are a gem for me, the most precious the most unique.
Our bond is like that of what I have never heard in any story. Unique and prestige, that’s all that takes to make us together, our unity is our excellence, no one can set us apart be it anyone close to our heart.
Then there are days when we are apart like today kay is in hostel, shine di sleeping and me typing this, but still we stay connected through our bond of hearts.
My elder sisters are like real heroes in my life if I am hurt they will fight, and knock down the reason that troubles me anytime. It’s just there words that makes me smile and makes me to anything I desire, and the motivation they provide me, I know this is the best part of my family. I love them for what they are sweet little things that mean a lot to me, which make me what I am.
That’s not all to love my family, but a lot more……